


ride

by joahdun



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Cheating, Hurt Percy, M/M, Motorcycles, Past Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson, References to Depression, Song fic, Vague, lana del rey- ride, middle of nowhere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-20 09:15:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14891822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joahdun/pseuds/joahdun
Summary: "i am crazy, but i am free!"orthe one where percy thinks about his life, and the choices he has madeinspired by my all time favorite song, ride, by lana del rey.





	ride

**Author's Note:**

> I was in the winter of my life  
> And the men that I met along the road were my only summer.  
> At night, I fell asleep with visions of myself  
> Dancing and laughing and crying with them.
> 
> Three years down the line of being on an endless world tour  
> And my memories of them were the only things that  
> Substained me and my only real happy times.
> 
> I was a singer, not a very popular one,  
> Who one had dreams of becoming a beautiful poet -  
> But upon an unfortunate series of events  
> Saw those dreams dashed  
> And divided like a millions stars in the night sky  
> That I wished on over and over again - sparkling and broken.
> 
> But I didn't really mind because I knew  
> That it takes getting everything  
> You ever wanted and then losing it  
> To know what true freedom is.
> 
> When the people I used to know  
> Found out what I had been doing  
> How I had been living - they asked me why.  
> But there's no use in talking to people who have a home,  
> They have no idea what it's like to seek safety I  
> In other people,  
> For home to be wherever you lie your head.
> 
> I was always an unusual girl,  
> My mother told me I had a chameleon soul.  
> No morall compass pointing due north, no fixed personality.  
> Just an inner indecisiveness  
> That was as wide and as wavering as the ocean.  
> And if I said that I didn't plan  
> For it to turn out this was, I'd be lying -  
> Because I was born to be the other woman.
> 
> I belong to no one - who belonged to everyone,  
> Who had nothing, who wanted everything  
> With a fire for every experience  
> And an obsession for freedom  
> That terrified me to the point I couldn't even talk about -  
> And pushed me to a nomatic point  
> Of madness that both dazzled and dizzied me."

the lights were blinding, shining down on the stage where he stood.  
eyes raked over his body as he took slow steps forward, grasping the microphone in his hands.  
his lips pressed the cool metal, and he took in the crowd.  
there weren't many there, but it was enough. 

he was a singer, not a very popular one, but it was what he wanted.  
he sang what he wanted, he was a work of art that belonged to everyone, yet belonged to no one.  
he thrived in their eyes, in their minds.  
he wanted to be seen, so he put on a show.

a smile danced on his lips, and his voice carried out through the dingy lit bar, in the middle of nowhere. 

_i've been out all night, open road..._

____

__the emptiness consumed him, filled him until it was all he could feel.  
his sun had burned out, leaving behind only a small piece of paper as she left with her worn out suitcase. _ _

__he had no fire, he had nothing anymore.  
he once wanted to be a poet, but those dreams had been shattered after a series of unfortunate events, the millions of pieces sparkling like the night sky he would so often wish upon._ _

__everyone around him was consumed with rigidness that nobody wanted to escape._ _

__he was alone, until he found his people.  
a group of men, laughing in the corner of a gas station in the middle of a wasteland. _ _

__he left everything behind, for a chance to have what they did._ _

__the breeze flew through his fingers, his body arched against the incoming rays of light.  
a scream tore from inside him, an animalistic sound that freed a part of him he didn't know existed. _ _

__he was happy, it was the summer of his life._ _

__years down the road, and the memories of what he used to have where the only thing that kept him going.  
a thought of feeling like that again, the rush, the freedom, was his fire. _ _

__he sang many gigs, never staying at one place for too long.  
he wandered the streets of his home, the land where he was born and raised.  
the land of the free. 

__sometimes his mind was clouded with whatever he was offered, his heart rid of the heaviness that still sometimes haunted it.  
it was on these nights that he would hitch a ride with whoever was willing to take him, nights where he would give his body to someone else, if just for a little while. _ _

__he would be lying if he said he didn't want for it to turn out this way._ _

__the sky was a deep midnight blue, his hands were big and rough, but he loved it.  
he had never met anyone who had been so tough, yet gentle. it captivated him._ _

__he hadn't slept, his eyes drinking in the man in front of him.  
_you aren't like others, are you? _the stranger had asked, and he shook his head no.___ _

____a moment fleeted by and he knew, he would never see this man again.  
_what's your name? _he had whispered, a strange want to stay tugging at him for the first time in years.___ _ _ _

______the man had smiled, a sad smile that knew what he had been feeling.  
_"you're beautiful", _was all he had said, his blonde hair glinting in the moonlight.___ _ _ _ _ _

________a strange want settled over him, one that scared him, and he left, a foreign heaviness slowing his limbs.  
a small boy, with dark hair and even darker eyes had gone into where he had just left, and he knew._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________the boy belonged to the blonde, percy was just on the side._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________his mind racked to a time where it was different, when someone wanted him as much as he did them._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________that night, he fell asleep to a memory from long ago, of him laughing, and crying, and dancing with the men he loved._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________the people he used to know tried talking to him  
blind to the world he lived in._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________unfamiliar to the idea of home being where you lay your head down,  
strangers to his dizzyingly nomadic life, dazzling and maddening all at once. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________he supposed he was crazy, but he was free._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"i just ride..."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ ___

__________he opened his eyes, applause meeting his ears.  
his eyes met his mens', standing in the back. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________their eyes took him back to the time when they had reunited, meeting out on the open road again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________they had joined him on his quest, to live fast, die young, and to turn their lives into works of art._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________he wondered, if others were in touch with their deepest selves, their inner animals.  
if they would ever be able to find it, the way he was. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________he believed in what he always would, human kindness.  
he believed in the morals his country used to follow.  
he believed in freedom of the open road._ _ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> "Every night I used to pray that I'd find my people -  
> And finally I did - on the open road.  
> We had nothing to lose, nothing to gain  
> Nothing we desired anymore -  
> Except to make our lives into a work of art.
> 
> Live fast. Die young.  
> Be wild, and have fun  
> I believe in the country America used to be.  
> I believe in the person I want to become.  
> I believe in the freedom of the open road.
> 
> And my motto is the same as ever -  
> I believe in the kindness of strangers.  
> And when I'm at war with myself - I ride. I just ride.
> 
> Who are you?  
> Are you in touch with all your darkest fantasies?  
> Have you created a life for yourself where you're free to experience them?  
> I have! I am fucking crazy, but I am free!"


End file.
